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Monday, January 17, 2011

Mother and Son at Creek with Small Dog

Mother and Son at Creek with Small Dog
Red-haired boy in pith helmet: “Shard of pottery forgotten by time. Draw me mom, draw a drawing of me.” Mother perched at edge of creek looks up from her reading.
            “Lookit this rock mom,” Walking through creek, stamps his feet on a sandbar, now wading over rocks into the sparkle and splash.
            “Lookit mom, something man made, whaddya suppose it is?” Ducks under a fallen tree, roots exposed like spokes.
            “Lookit this rock,” Throws it. Heavy splash, ripples percolate. Skips stone, 2 skips.
            “See, isn’t this such a good idea mom? Lookit this skipping stone, it’s practically perfect in every way.” Skips 3 times, then bends to creek, comes up.
            “Lookit this rock mom.”
Mother looks up says:
            “It’s leopard skinned.”
            “Way to be a poet. Hey! Got my first decent skip. Dog truffle hunts under Mother’s chair, nose sandy, snorts, digs. Splash, clack of two rocks, boy examining intently.
            “It’s really light too . . . lookit this one.” Creek eddies to the left, ferns sprout from the embankment.
            “Oh my god, lookit this mom, it’s quartz, it’s pink, are you writing this down? It’s pink. You’re such a writer.” Pause, boy ankle deep, contemplating rocks. Looks up.
I’m glad a lot of people don’t come to this creek, there’d be less treasures.”


  1. Searching For Guidance From A Friend

    Lost friend smiles: |Hello, my dear friend I have been having recent problems. I do not know what do to with my life.|
    Dear friend: |How many times have I told you?
    Do what you think is right. No need to follow others.|
    Friend puts arm on shoulder.
    Dear friend:|You will do the right thing. I have known you for so long and have not failed. I do not know why you are thinking like this.|

    Lost friend:|You are right I do now know why I am like this. You have been my friend for so long now. You always cheer me up when I am down. What a truly great friend you are.|

    Dear friend:|No need to sound so generous of me.| Pats his friend on his shoulder.| I am here for you and you are there for me whenever we feel down.|

    Lost friend looks down and up to his friend.

    Dear Friend: | So what have you decided in doing?|

    Lost friend smiles and says:
    | I have decided on to just march with time. Marching with time will take me to any place I want and desire.|

    Dear friend takes his hand from his friends shoulder and says:
    | You are truly the same person that I have known for so long. I am very grateful that I have met you in this life scene.|

    Lost friend shakes friends hand says:
    |I as well am grateful we became friends. I hope we keep in touch all the time and keep helping each other.|


  2. Girls Can Joke Around Too.

    [Four friends driving to a basketball game as dusk begins to settle. ]

    Mary: “Brie, did you know that the Suns are 10 ½ games behind the Lakers?”

    Brie: “ ya babe. I know.”
    Mary: “Yeah me too. Notice how I came up with that quick fact”

    [With a finger in the air she points to the sun. Everyone laughs.]

    Lala: “Who told you that?”
    Mary: “Don’t worry about it”

    [She motions to the side of her seat. Reaching for something under her thigh]

    “…did you also know their only 1 ½ games over the Warriors?”

    Brie: “ Where the hell are you getting these facts from? This sounds like Ken”

    [She jolts towards the passenger side trying to hit Mary and reach for something...]

    Denee: “we’re-gonna-die”
    [Squeels from the back as she stretches towards the roof.]

    Mary: “ I don’t wanna die! Oh lord”

    [She cringes towards the window. Face smashed in.]

    Lala “Put your hands in the wheel Brie!!”

    [Brie listens and recoils.Feeling safe Mary pulls the white crumbled paper from under her thigh and stretches is out like a list being read out to a king.]

    Mary “well let me tell you what else I know…”
    Brie: “gimme that shit.”
    Mary: “nope. Lemme finish my facts”
    Brie: “ you better gimme that. OH my God..”

    [Catching a glimpse of the paper, she sees a picture of her face on the opposing teams jersey. With one hand on the wheel and another on the steering wheel Brie continues to battle for the paper]

    Lala & Denee: “ohmygod. Ohmygod. Oh-my-god.”


  3. Hey Karina,
    I enjoyed your story. It shows how interested and excited the girls are for basketball. They are so excited that there is madness occurring inside the car.


  4. Young man #1 adjusts his collar and approaches staircase. Young man #2 is at bottom of staircase dabbling with his phone:

    Young man 1:
    “Hello, you work with him?” Points at the the top of the staircase.

    Young man 2 stops playing with his phone and adjust’s his glasses:
    “I do. did you have an appointment?”

    young man 1:
    “Sorta. I was supposed to meet him at 3pm give him some footage.”

    young man 1 looking intrigued:
    “Does he keep you pretty busy?”

    Young man 2 perks up in excitement:
    “Well he has me on business cards right now, but i can do it all. you know flyers, posters all that stuff.”

    Young man 1:
    3 People walk down stairs “Looks like he’s there I’ll head on up.”
    Young man 2:
    “Yea he should be there now.”

    They make their way into the studio. The studio is a creative working environment. Old memorabilia everywhere. Young Man#1 waits in the doorway impressed by it all. The editor has a very calming and fun personality.

    “You been standing’ there this whole time?”

    Intern #1:
    “Yea he has. chuckles. he’s a patient guy.”

    “Oh awesome. yes i really like what you did with that footage. Here, let me show you some of my stuff i make. you know you should come by on fridays and participate in our brainstorming sessions.”

    Takes YM1 on a tour. Then leaves.Walking off stage with hands in the air

    Young man 1:
    “ Nailed it!”

  5. A mother and child have a tea party. They are both wearing party dresses; the child has borrowed a pair of her mother's heels, which dangle from her tiny feet as she swings her legs. Mother offers more tea to her daughter.
    |More tea, madame?|

    Child grins, showing off newly grown in front teeth and nods with delight.
    Mother hums an old tune as she pours tea into her child's teacup.
    |Mommy, is there a mouse in there?|

    Mother laughs and puts a hand to her heart as she puts the teapot down.
    |A mouse? Why would there be mouse in there?|

    Child scrunches up face indignantly, crossing her arms.
    |Like Alice in Wonderland. There was a dormouse in the teapot.|

    Mother laughs.
    |No mice, sorry. But there is something in here...|
    Mother leans over and gently prods her daughter's chest, right over her heart.

    Child squeals as the poke tickles her.
    |Blood? Daddy said that's what's in there.|

    Mother nods.
    |Yes, but there's something else in there. There's a little piece of me and him in there too.|

    Child wrinkles nose.
    |You mean there's people in my blood?|

    Mother smiles and patiently explains.
    |Not in your blood, silly. In your heart. And you carry us with you all the time.|

    Child shifts in her seat and looks out at the horizon, squinting her eyes a bit.
    |Why are you in there, mommy?|

    Mother smiles as her child turns to look up with curious eyes.
    |Because I love you.|


  6. Woman is sitting on a bed putting socks on her feet. Man is standing by the door watching her.

    Man: What are you doing?

    Woman: I’m leaving. I wanna get out of here. (she starts to put her shoes on in a hurry)

    Man: The doctor hasn’t released you yet.

    Woman: (She says with an angry voice) Is this a kidnapping? Am I a prisoner? No. I didn’t think so. I don’t need a doctor to release me. (She finishes tying her shoes and stands up to put her jacket on)

    Man: Please…just stay.

    Woman: Why?

    Man: Cause you are sick. We don’t know what’s wrong with you yet. Let us try and help.

    Woman: (She yells in a rage) Your help isn’t helping. I don’t want your help and I sure as hell don’t need your help. Just leave me alone.

    Man: (Yells back) Does it even occur to you that you could die? Are you really willing to throw your life away when it could be saved? Why wouldn’t you want to stay and find out what’s wrong. At least give yourself a chance.

    Woman: (she calms and in a low voice) Yea it occurred to me that I could die from this. I could also leave here and get hit by a car. Nuclear war could strike tomorrow or I could get shot in the street next week. The difference is I don’t have to know about it today. Now get out of my way. (She leaves)

  7. Brian stands behind a counter at a comic shop ringing up a customers purchases as Dave walks across the store
    |So what's in today's news|

    Dave Sits down at a gaming table and faces Brian while leafing through his comics

    |Steven Segal is a dick.|
    |You call that news...What did he do this time?|
    |Well he was training Anderson Silva and claims that he not only taught him the kick he used to beat Belfort, but that he invented that kick.|

    Brian takes customers money and gives him a receipt.

    |it was a standard front kick.”
    |Wait, like the one you see Mr. Myagi use against the cobra kai gang? The same one that's been in media since Sony Chiba's films were first imported in the fifties?|

    A customer leaves and another walks up to the register

    |The very same.|

    Brian starts ringing up a new customer

    |Well he may be a dick but he's still in the clear with me.|
    |How do you figure?|

    |"Hard To Kill".|
    |Common it gave us the greatest cheese-ball line of all.|
    |"How does it feel to know you're about to die?"|
    He harshly whispers,
    |"I’m gonna take you the bank Senator Trent, the blood bank."|
    Brian: |You are seriously damaged.|

    Steve and Devon enter the store deep in debate as Brian talks in low tones to the customer at the register

    |Seriously, there was a black Catwoman before Halle Berry.|

    |Are you honestly gonna stand there, and tell me you think that I, a black man, would not know that there was more than one black Catwoman|

    |There was another black catwoman? When?|

    |Why you gotta say “another” like that man?|

    |Dev, not funny.|

    |Adam West Batman?|

    |Im calling Bullshit.|

    |Eartha Kitt 1967.|

    |Ha! I told you!|

    |Eartha who?|

    |Wait, the old lady from Earnest Scared Stupid? Wow.|

  8. E. Sypolt

    He tip-toes across the room. Children are sleeping on the floor and he tries to be as quiet as possible. One child peaks up from out of his covers.

    “Dad? What are you doing?” The dad freezes and looks down at the child.

    “Um, I’m getting ready to make breakfast… What do you want to eat?”

    “Honestly, it’s 11 o’clock at night.” He sits up and allows the blankets to fall down.

    The father looks around thinking of another excuse to make, “Yes, but I am going to get breakfast ready for tomorrow! I mean, woohoo, it’s a big day and all.”

    The boy shrugs. “Only one more hour until Santa Clause comes, I’ve been waiting up and I’m not going to sleep until I see him!” He smiles sleepily.

    The man bites his lower lip and turns his head to the tree. He is holding something behind his back. “Wait a minute, do you hear something?”

    Background noise stars to rattle and it sounds as though something is going on in the next room. The boy stands up and turns around and asks “What is mom doing?”

    “Oh, that’s not mom, she’s fast asleep! Maybe it’s Santa!”

    The father throws what he had behind his back at the tree. By the time the boy turns back there is a loud noise coming from the tree. Now, the tree is somewhat lopsided and an ornament falls off.

    “Dad, I saw you throw that. Haven’t you heard of peripheral vision?”

  9. Puppy Care

    Older sister walks into the family room, where her four other family members resided.
    Older Sister: “I’ve been doing some research on how to take care of our puppy, so she doesn’t turn into a little yip-yap.”
    Mother stares at older sister. “What do you mean so she doesn’t turn into a little yip-yap? She’s a small dog. All small dogs are yip-yaps.”
    Older Sister: “Not necessarily. Turns out all the yip-yaps who are small dogs have small dog syndrome. To make sure she doesn’t turn into a yip-yap, we have to stop caring her everywhere, and no letting her sit on your laps on the couches.”
    Middle Sister: “Why not? She’s adorable! I can’t stop myself from picking her up!”
    Older sister, while glaring at Middle Sister: “Well, too bad. You’re going to have to stop!”
    Mom: “Why can’t we let her sit in our laps when we’re on the couch?”
    Older Sister: “Because, according to my research, her sitting on your lap shows that you are her possession, in a dogs mind. The higher up she is, the more possessed you are.”
    Younger Sister looks at Middle Sister and says: “You are sooooo possessed!”
    Middle Sister sulks.


  10. Awkward in the Woods

    “Dude you don’t know what it feels like that’s why” J said as he starred at the wall.
    “I don’t know? Why wouldn’t I know? You act like you’re the only one who has even gone through something like this.” Sonia said.
    “Ew! Did you see that bird? It almost hit my freaking head!” She said. Pointing at a crow that just landed on a tree branch”
    “I don’t even know why you brought me here.”
    “you needed to get out of the house. You’ve been locked up in there for like a week. Its not like you even loved her. Wait, did you?!”
    “NO!” “No.”
    “Omg you did? He did! Did you hear that he loved her! Omg you better be lying”
    “Loved who?”
    “See even she doesn’t believe it.”
    “She’s just busy doing her homework. She’s not even paying attention. I cant believe were out here in your favorite place and you cant put down your homework.”
    “Shut up and keep talking about how your heartbroken.”
    “he’s not heartbroken he was just kidding. He didn’t love her.”
    “Yea he did. When have you even seen him locked in his house. You couldn’t even get him to stay there for a whole day and now he doesn’t want to leave. We had to drag him here. You really think he didn’t love her. Plus why do you care so much it was his relationship.”
    “yea but nobody liked her and you know it. You didn’t even like her. Plus he never talked like that.”

    L Carmona

  11. Where do Babies Come From?

    Big sister and two younger brothers are at the Bagel Bakery waiting for their bagels. The youngest turns to big sister and asks:
    ‖Do you like being pregnant, sissy? ‖
    Big sister smiles and replies:
    ‖Oh it’s the best… I’m hungry 24/7, my boobs and tummy are getting bigger and bigger, and commercials make me cry. Yep, it’s pretty awesome.‖
    Youngest brother is silent for a moment.
    ‖So sissy, how does the baby get out? I know they don’t really come from storks and mom won’t tell me the truth.‖
    Big sister looks at older brother says:
    ‖Seems like just yesterday that I answered that very same question for you.‖
    Older brother grimaces says:
    ‖Yeah, and I’m still traumatized! ‖
    Big sister laughs and says:
    ‖Well, all I can say is don’t ask me questions if you don’t want the answers! [Turns to youngest brother] If you really think you can handle the truth, babies come out of their mommy’s vagina.‖
    Younger brother contemplates this answer for a moment, then asks very quietly:
    ‖What’s a vagina?‖

    H Beck

  12. You Would like What?!

    Gennavive: Hi Aiden!
    Gennavive gives Aiden a hug

    Aiden: What are you doing?

    Gennavive: Just finished work and I’m walking home. You?

    Aiden: Lucky. I’m headed to work right now.

    Gennavive: Really? Where do you work?

    Aiden: I take care of elderly in foster home. Since I work the night shift, they are usually sleeping by the time I get there.

    Gennavive: That’s so boring!

    Aiden: Yeah, I know. Since I usually have nothing to do, I just do my homework over there.

    Gennavive: They let you do that?!

    Aiden: Yeah. Sometimes I sneak onto facebook and AIM on my computer! I know, I’m so bad. I’m sure they would not let me do that if the patients were awake.

    Gennavive: You’re so lucky. What a job. I want that. By the way, how did last night go?
    Gennavive starts to stare into space

    Aiden: Oh haha! Everybody got stoned! They were all so hungry after and were eating like pigs.

    Gennavive: Wow, I would like that.

    Aiden: Like what?! To be a stoner?!
    Gennavive snaps out of her trance

    Gennavive: Oops, sorry. I was day dreaming and didn’t really hear what you said. When I said I would like that, I meant that I would really like a job like you have! You’re so lucky!

    Aiden: Suuuuuurrrrreeeee. You KNOW you would’ve liked what happened last night if you joined!

    Gennavive: Shut up!
    Gennavive slaps Aiden on the Shoulder and they both start laughing


  13. A busy cafe. People chatter and coffee cups clink and tinkle as the barista makes coffee at lightning speed behind the espresso machine.

    The Regular:
    Is this seat taken? There aren't any left.

    A writer:
    Huh? oh, yeah, sure you can take it.

    The Regular:
    Oh great, thanks.

    The regular sits down. The writer continues to write as the regular gets decidedly comfortable in her seat and her surroundings, moving the coffee cups and sugar bowl to new positions. The writer gives her subtle glance, quickly looking down as the waiter approaches.

    The Barista:
    Hey regular, how are you?

    the Regular:
    Oh, 'allo, I'm fine thanks. hey, how's the new waitress coming along?

    The Barista:
    Yeah, she's still picking up the vibe.
    Hasn't dropped anything yet, though which is a bonus. Can I get you anything?

    The Regular:

    The Barista
    Yea, sure. Actually, no, we've run out. sorry. can I get you anything else?

    THe Regular:
    Oh, that's cool. thanks anyway.
    I love the cheesecake here!!

    The writer looks up at the regular, slightly nods in acknowledgment and continues to write. He subconsciously reaches for his cheesecake plate and slides it closer towards him.

    That's right, new york baked cheesecake.
    New yawwwk... (a beat)... Can I have some of yours?

  14. Patrick is walking along path, Katie comes in walking from opposite direction.

    KATIE: Hey Patrick!

    Patrick looks up, and gives a smile after a brief pause.

    Patrick: Oh, hey Katie. What's going on?

    KATIE: Not much, just on my way to class, you?

    Patrick: Yeah, same here.

    Patrick gives a short chuckle and begins to move away from Katie. Katie does a small sidestep to block him.

    KATIE: So where's your girlfriend?

    Patrick: Oh, she's at work, as always.

    Patrick gives another nervous chuckle. Katie leans slightly more toward Patrick.

    KATIE: So she really is your girlfriend now? You guys are official?

    Patrick: Uh, yeah. I guess.

    KATIE: It wasn't on facebook! It's not official until it's facebook official!

    Patrick: Uh...yeah. I don't think it really works like that.

    There is a brief pause. Patrick starts to move away again.

    Patrick: Yeah, I don't want to be late to class. I gotta go. See ya.

    KATIE: Oh yeah, me too! Bye Patrick it was nice seeing you!

    Katie waves goodbye, Patrick keeps walking.

  15. Young man enjoying his birthday with his friends
    |So where are we really going? Aren't you guys going to tell me|

    His girlfriend |Nope, you have to be blindfolded| She covers his eyes with a scarf and they all drive off.

    |So can you guess where we are?| The girlfriend asks.

    Taking about 5 minutes he guesses correctly.| We are at the restaurant we went last year|

    Inside the restaurant they all talk for hours about the same thing they always do and as usual don't know what to order |So what are you guys getting?|

    First friend looks at the menu | I don't know. I think I'm getting the ribs.|

    Two others say |The double patty burger| laughing while saying it.

    After dinner they all go to watch a movie and enjoy the rest of the night together. |At least drink one beer?| Asks one of the friends.

    He replies |Na, I'm good. I'm not drinking, lets just have fun.|


  16. Life of a babysitter
    Two little girls sitting on couch, watching television. The older one yawns and gazes at the babysitter pleadingly.
    Sammy: “Can we make an ac-ti-bi-ti? She gives a seemingly innocent smile
    Babysitter Julie: “Later.” Doesn’t bother to look away from her book but dismisses the girl’s question with a wave of her hand.
    Janet: “Can I have another candy?” She asks, putting her hands together as if she were getting ready for prayer,
    Babysitter Julie: “No.” She says in a firm voice. She looks up this time waiting for a rebuttal.
    Janet: “But I want a candy!” She squeals with desperation.
    Babysitter Julie: “But nothing! You already had two.” She stares at kid, annoyed.
    Janet: “But Julie…” She jumps up and down while whining and screaming at the same time.
    Babysitter Julie: “No” She begins to get back to her book.
    Five seconds later…
    Sammy: “Can we do the ac-ti-bi-ti now?”
    In walks Janet’s mom through the front door at the right. She is a scrawny woman with bags under her eyes, possibly from exhaustion. She walks as if she were dragging herself.
    Janet: “Mommy, can I have a candy?” She asks in a non obnoxious manner.
    Janet’s Mon: “Sure honey.”

  17. Police Officer and Young Hispanic Male Anna Martinez

    Scene: Thirty year old Hispanic male driving down Natividad in a late model truck at 9:00 a.m. Monday morning.
    Followed by a Salinas Police Officer. The police officer is about to pull over the young Hispanic male.

    As the Officer approaches the truck.

    Officer | "Give me your license and registration and step out of the truck, with your hands over your head."|

    Young Hispanic Male | "Officer what did I do wrong?"|

    Officer | "Keep your mouth shut, if you know what’s good for you!”|

    As the young Hispanic male obeys the Officer and steps out of his truck. The Officer hand cuffs
    the young Hispanic male.

    Officer | "I am going to search your truck. You give me permission right, or is there something your hiding." |

    Young Hispanic Male | "No officer I have nothing to hide. I am just coming back from bringing my wife breakfast. We are expecting a baby any day now. No I do not give you permission to search my truck."|

    Officer | "Well that means you are under arrest, for resisting arrest."|

    Young Hispanic Male | "What?"|

    Officer calls for back up and a tow truck.

    Young Hispanic Male | "Officer you can't do this, I didn't do anything wrong."|

    Officer | "Punks like you are a dime a dozen, gang members and drug pushers. We need to keep you guys off the streets." |

    Young Hispanic Male | "I am not a gang member or drug pusher and your violating my rights."|

    Officer | "Rights, you have no rights." |

    As the young Hispanic male is booked into jail. He is allowed to make a phone call. He calls his wife.

    Wife |In a frantic voice. "Where are you, the baby's coming!"|

  18. This comment has been removed by the author.

  19. Mother and Daughter at Valentine Display

    Young Hispanic mother and daughter, age seven, approach the Valentine display in a department store.

    Mother scrutinizes shelves of valentine boxes. “They have Disney princesses and Wizards of Waverly Place and—”

    Child taps the mother on a buttock and interrupts. “I want Justin Bieber!”

    Mother checks the shelves again. “No, they don’t have Justin Bieber. “Here,” (hands child a box) how about Nail Gems?” Mother points to the front of the box. “See, the girls can put these stickers on their nails!”

    Interested child takes the box. “Okay. And I need a box for the boys.”

    “You can only get one box.” Mother points to the box. “See, the boys get these stickers here.”

    Child hands back the box. “Mom, the boys won’t like those.”

    Mother rescans box titles. “How about Shrek?”

    Child shakes her head. “Those have twenty-four. I need twenty-six.”

    “Oh.” Mother quickly combs the now-disheveled display again. “How about Scooby-Do or Mr. Men and Little Miss? They have twenty-seven.”

    Child shakes her head. But I don’t like them!

    Mother shoves the boxes she has collected back on the shelves. “Those are the ones that have twenty-six! Pick now or you won’t get any!”

    Child cries silently. Mother rummages through the boxes again. Mother holds up another box. “Look, these Camp Rock have twenty-seven. You like Camp Rock, right?”

    Child nods. “Uh, huh.”

    Mother hands the box to the child, who eyes it warily. “I guess.”

    Mother leaves quickly; child lags behind.

  20. Jessica’s brother knocks on her bedroom door and comes inside.
    Junior: ‘What are you doing?’ she looks up from her computer.
    Jessica: ‘Trying to write a script for my online class’
    Junior: ‘Oh that’s easy!’ she rolled her eyes at her 15 year old brother.
    Jessica: ‘Get out of here’
    Junior: ‘Oh come on. What about if you write about your dad.’
    Jessica: ‘I don’t want a sad script.’ she said, rolling her eyes at him. Junior rolls his eyes too.
    Junior: ‘So write it funny like my mom could say ‘Yo honey, your father called’.” he says in a deep voice. Jessica cracks up and shakes her head at her brother.
    Jessica: ‘Junior that’s stupid’.’
    Junior: ‘No really…and you can be all, ‘Ugh, I don’t care about that guy.’ his voice turns high pitched, as if trying to mock his sister’s voice. Jessica laughed even more shaking her head.
    Jessica: ‘Get out of here’ he laughs and shrugs, heading for the door. Jessica sighs and turns back to the empty page. She begins to type, causing her brother to stop at the door.
    Junior: ‘Your writing about this moment aren’t you?’ she giggles and nods. Junior laughs and goes over to her, his hand up for a high five.
    Junior: ‘Dude, that’s so cool.’ Jessica just stared at her brother like he was nuts, shaking her head and leaving him hanging.
    Jessica: ‘Get out!” he laughs as he leaves. Jessica smiles as she types, finding her inspiration.

  21. Friend calls me up to her in the parking lot of church.

    Friend: “Hey can you help me find my keys?” Puts down her backpack, purse, and duffle bag.

    Me: “[laughs] sure. Where is the last place you had them?”

    Friend: “ummmm… on the chair second service, I think”

    Me: “ Ok, lets check.”

    Searches the church. Twenty minutes later.

    Me: “Did you leave them in your car?”

    Friend: “No, of course not. I remember having them in church.”

    Me: “Ooook… lets look again.”

    Searches church again.

    Me: “I’m gonna check your car. Be back”

    Walks out to car. Sees the pretty little keys in the front seat. Laughs and walks back to friend,

    Me: “ Guess what I found? [smiles] Do you have a spare?”

    Friend: “No… [shouts loudly to everyone in the church] … DOES ANYONE KNOW HOW TO BREAK INTO A CAR?!?”

    “I DO!!” says everyone in union

    Gabby Hutchinson

  22. Little girl leans on aunts bed. “What do you think would sound better, Sami Jones or Sami Smith?”

    Aunt looks down from her work. “I think Sami Lipsig sounds better. It’s what makes you a part of this family.”

    Tears form in the girls eyes. “I want to change it. Nobody can say it right. They always mess it up calling me Sami Lipstick? I hate it!”

    Aunt sets her work down. “Sami, you have to be firm with them and say ‘My name is Sami lip-sig.’ If they know it bugs you a lot they will keep on doing it. Just be calm when you say it, act like you are just correcting them if they mispronounced any other word.” Aunt helps girl onto bed.

    Girl falls dejectedly against aunt. “It will never work! I hate our name!”

    Aunt kisses girls head, “Kids sometimes tease each other. It’s not nice and sometimes it really hurts. The trick is to correct them without letting them know they are getting to you.” Girl grabs cat sleeping at the end of bed, hugs it tight to her chest. “You have to know in your heart that your name is something special, keep it special to you and it will hurt less when kids tease.”

    Girl sighs, “I didn’t know kids would mess up my name when I got adopted.”

    Aunt hugs child and sighs. “I know angel.” The dog barks, the cat wiggles to get free, the little girl runs after it.

  23. Seven year old boy: “Mom is it going to hurt? I hope I don’t feel anything.”
    Mother looks up at her anxious sons face as she is worried of him being under sedation.
    “Mom, hold me please, “as he lifts her arm and wraps it around his shoulders and curls up into her chest.
    “I’m getting tired.” Closes his eyes. Door opens and the nurse calls out his name.
    “I love you baby, see you in a bit!” she kisses his forehead and waits. Nurse calls for her and they bring out her son.
    “Hi mom.” he mutters waking from the medication.
    “Hi baby, how are you feeling?” she says anxiously. Kneels down staring at him.
    “I did great mom, I didn’t cry are my teeth even fixed?” he says with a mouth full of gauze as he starts feeling around his teeth.
    “You are such a little champ! I am very proud of you!” she replies with a giggle, shocked that he is in a good mood.
    “Mom were you worried about me?” he looks up at her while she’s pushing the wheelchair. Batting his puppy dog eyes.
    “I was sweetie, but that’s what mom’s do, it’s because I love you sooo much!” Click. Click. She buckles him into the car.
    The boy still feeling the effects of being sedated looks up at her.
    “Mom you don’t have to worry about me, I am a big boy and I will always protect you, even when I don’t have teeth!”

  24. The Supermarket Fast-Track

    Swiss roommate guy: “I wish I have the time to cook a nice dinner.”
    In loved roommate girl just smiled, waiting to say and propose to him something.
    “I will just make frozen pizza, but what are you eating?”
    With a big smile she said, “I want to go to the supermarket and make something good”
    “OK go” his deeply words.
    “You should go with me, so you can pick whatever you want to eat,” she said it with a better enthusiasm
    “mmmm ok at 7:30pm, be ready”
    It was 4:30 pm when they agreed. She started to get ready since 5 pm.
    At 7:30ish they left the house to the supermarket. They shopped few things to make the expected dinner she wanted to cook for him. But at the time to pay;
    “Ok be fast pay in the fastrackcheking, I need to go back, I am busy” She ignored his comment by looking at the magazine (the last US weekly) in direction to the regular check line.
    She started look at the magazine while they were waiting to be attended. He anxious and furious “why you always think this line is faster that my line”. . . “Always contradicting me”
    Submerged in the magazine, she just moved her head up and down. And, without noticing, he left the supermarket.

  25. Son:

    "Mom! Can I talk to Siri?"

    (Laughing) "Sure Son, go talk to your new girlfriend."

    "She's NOT my girlfriend...Siri...when is "Scary Movie Five" out?"" He held Siri steadily upward

    "S C A R Y M O V I E F I V E C O M E S O U T, F R I D A Y, A P R I L T W E L TH"

    "Mom can we go after school? Did you know that Charlie Sheen died in the last one but he's alive in this one?"

    (still laughing) "I did not know that"..(Son, still rambling about what is going to happen in the new one....)

    Mom re-focuses..."Do you want to go see it Saturday?"

    "Yes..when's Saturday...Yes!..Did you know Scary Movie Four is on Netflix?"

    "Oh good..something we can enjoy tonight..."

    Son puts his headphones back on and scrambles to find it on Netflix.....

    Mom freaks out..."Time for school! Change your shirt!" as she scrambles for her own books.."Back packs on! Let's go"

    "Can I talk to Siri again?".............

    Mom giggles.....

    C. Schaarschmidt

  26. Breaking the Law

    Pulling out of the Chili’s parking lot receiving text messages from her brother

    She decides to call him instead, as soon as she put the phone to her ear
    Lights start flashing, she pulls over and the old cop walks to the window


    “Excuse me but I am stopping you for your window tint”

    “It is too dark and you are also on your cell phone”

    She looks so sad her day was already ruined from some dreadful information she received
    “Officer please I am having a bad day I was just calling my brother”
    He looked as though he did not care

    “Ma’am hold on one second, stay in the vehicle I will be right back”

    She is looking around so frantically for she does not want a ticket
    On his way back to the front of the car

    “Ma’am I am giving you a warning on the window tint but I have to give you a ticket for being on your cellphone”

    Pleading for him to not give her a ticket, tears start flowing down her cheeks..

    “Please officer PLEASE!!! I am having a bad day”

    Looking at her as though he did not care

    “Sorry but I have no choice I have to give you the ticket”

    Sitting in the car crying hysterically all the emotions from throughout the day finally hit and she sat there crying hopelessly.

  27. M.Perez
    Harnell Student center, a group of friends meet after class to finish homework.

    Christian: Hey Jose, let me see your 8.5! Did you finish it?

    Jose: Why? So you can copy?

    Christian: Haha NO!! I just to check my..

    Jose: Plus I don't have it. Mel does.

    Mel walks in the student center, heads towards the table.

    Christian: MEL! Let me see Jose's homework.

    Mel: You just wanana copy! LAZY!

    Christian: Nah! let me see it.

    Omar: Hey! Coach Mel, let me see them Beats!

    Mel, looks over at her white Beats by Dre headphones hanging around her neck. Smirks and nods her head.

    Mel: If I give them to you, are you going to do your homework?

    Omar: Sell them to me!

    Me: Go to the flea market and get'em cheap!

    Omar: yeah? For real? Are they legit though?

    Jose: NO! now do your homework fool!

    Omar: Call me, MASTER!

    Christian: Yeah Jose! Call him MASTER!

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  29. M. Martinez

    At an Antique Store downtown (mid-day) [Gloria and Beth had southern accents]

    Gloria: “So Beth, did ya hear the good news?” smiling at Beth.

    Beth: “No, what’s the good news?” reading her mail.

    Gloria: “My grandson and his wife are having a baby!”

    Beth: “Finally!” they both laugh.

    Beth: “I’m happy for ya, Gloria! Finally, gonna be a great grandmother!”

    Gloria: “I know and I’m still alive as well!” they both laugh.

    Beth: “Well, don’t you look happy!” she turns and stares at her.

    Gloria: “I sure am, Beth! I hope they come and see me before they head back to Michigan. Lord knows when I’ll see them again.” She sounds worried and concerned. She pauses and picks up the phone.

    Gloria: “Hello? Don? This is your nana. I hope you and Pam are coming to visit me before you go back home. I heard you were having a baby and I would like to see you both. Call me back when you get this message. I love you.”

    Beth: “Is everything alright, Gloria?”

    Gloria: “Yes, yes, everything is just fine. I just hope they didn’t forget about me.”

    Beth: She hugs Gloria, “Your grandson loves ya, he would never do such a thing! I’m sure he is just busy, he’ll get back to you. Don’t ya worry, Gloria!”

    Gloria: “Oh, I’m sorry…” She sits down on the chair “…it becomes a habit with old age. It’s just I haven’t seen him in years, Beth and I would like to see him all grown up, happily married and now a child. She pauses. She looks sad. It just goes by too fast. It’s hard to keep up at this age.”

    Beth: “and you’ve done quite well so far, don’t ya think?”

    Gloria: “You’re right…it’s not my age that is stopping me…it’s my attitude.”

    Gloria and Beth laugh and smile at each other.

    The Phone rings.

    Gloria: “Hello? Don? Oh thank God, you called me back…”

    Beth: Smiles at her and winks.

  30. The Garden of Dreams
    A stout old lady would often dream she was young and beautiful. She enters her garden early in the morning while a thick breeze covers it. As she enters, the mist begins to fade until she sees a flickering light upon the green and colorful garden; it appears to be a day of spring.
    “Ah, what peace? Mornings like this there are few.” She hears the song of a bird as she approaches a tree in the middle of her garden.
    “How goes it bird of love. Sing again for I am charmed with your song.”
    “So well it goes madam, as no other sunrise.”
    “’tis indeed unique. But come now, will you sing for me.”
    “Every morning, in this same tree I sing.”
    “How is it that I’ve never heard your noise?”
    “Well, you lie there, in that same spot as always, dreaming your dreams and fail to notice.”
    “But am I not now awake, thus sing for me again.”
    “I will sing most pleased till of hearing your ears grow tire.” Sings for a few seconds then pauses. “Um! I hadn’t notice, this day your semblance contrasts. In your eyes spreads uncertain joy, you seem not worry, and seems your looks accepted.”
    “How now! I had myself not notice.”
    “Perhaps because you seek not deep enough. Too hard you see but with your eyes, and its view fails to true beauty find.”
    She then wakes up and hears a bird sing in the distance.


  31. Female customer: To male customer, “Did you know this used to be the old Keefer’s restaurant?”
    Male customer: “No way! Really?”
    Female customer: To waitress, “How long has this been a Mexican restaurant?”
    Waitress: “Hmm…” She looked upwards in thought, pondering her answer. “About 8 years I think.”
    Male customer: “We came here because we heard that you have the best tortas in town.”
    Waitress” “Well that’s so great! I run this place with my mother and father. My grandmother helps out too. When my brother is in town he helps us also.”
    Female customer: Looking all around, “This place is very clean. I am picky about eating out so I’m pleased to see that it is spotless in here. “
    Waitress: “That’s my mom. She is very particular and a major clean freak.”
    Male customer: “Do you still have parties here?”
    Waitress: “Not very often. We have the space but since it is just my parents and I to wait on the tables, it isn’t practical. My mom’s sister is moving here in June and she and my cousins will be here to help us.”
    Male customer: “Well you certainly have the space and the food certainly looks good.”
    Female customer: “What type of salsa do you have?”
    Waitress: “Right now we just have one kind. It’s salsa rojo.”
    Female customer: “Will you please put 2 containers of salsa in the bag? “
    Waitress: “No problem”.
    Female customer and Male customer: Together, “Thank you!”

    T Tully